Entries Tagged 'Humor' ↓

This story is a bit out of the ordinary here at Affectional Writ, but it’s worth passing on.

Man uses Barbie fishing rod to make record catch

Friday, August 22, 2008 2:51 AM EDT
The Associated Press

ELKIN, N.C. (AP) — David Hayes’ granddaughter just asked him to hold her Barbie rod and reel while she went to the bathroom. He did. And seconds later he landed the state record channel catfish at 21 pounds, 1 ounce.

Alyssa’s father had bought the pink Barbie fishing rod for Christmas and she had caught a few bluegill before her grandfather hauled in the catfish.

The Winston-Salem Journal reported the catch Aug. 5 in eastern Wilkes County has been certified as a record by the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission.

Hayes and his granddaughter have been fishing in the pond behind his house since she was big enough to hold a pole.

Hayes said his granddaughter worried he would break her rod. He landed the 21-pound fish on a 6-pound test line. It was 32 inches long, 2 inches longer than the rod.

At the 08SR, my brother was unfortunately hit twice and I fortunately captured them on video. There are two scenes. The first one where he gets hit with a snowball and the second one with a hand. Each scene multiplies in hilarity the multiple times that you watch it. So, watch, replay, and laugh.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4955627787262152009

This second video is the first in a six part series on “The Keys to Spiritual Growth” taught by John MacArthur. I think these were filmed in the ’80s, but they just made their way to Google Video. You can see all six videos here.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6679477777478580145

I found these while I was surfing the net. I hope you enjoy.

• Sure, the Grand Canyon is breathtaking, but so is lung cancer.
• A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and you say your mother.
• A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
• I shot an elephant in my pajamas. What he was doing in my pajamas, I’ll never know.
• TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
• What’s the greatest worldwide use of cowhide? To hold cows together.
• Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
• Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the show?
• We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

A friend of mine sent me a link today to an article entitled, “Coffee As A Means of Grace.” The humorous piece attempted to find all biblical and ecclesiastical connections with coffee.
Here is an excerpt:

Drinking Coffee Prepares the Flesh for Suffering. According to the New Testament, suffering is an honor, a virtue, and a means of sanctification. We are to endure it with joy. Drinking coffee helps our sinful flesh to prepare for joyful suffering. It upsets the stomach and has a diarrheic effect on the digestive system. It can irritate ulcers and causes a jittery nervousness. Withdrawal from long coffee binges causes dreadful headaches that no amount of medication can relieve. Besides this, any honest coffee drinker will admit that coffee is a horrid beverage. If the brew is too weak, it tastes like dirty water; if it is too strong, it tastes like motor oil. To temper the inherent and unavoidable nastiness, one must add cream, milk, sugar, blue stuff, pink stuff, clumps, lumps, drops, syrups, froth, or foam. The whole ordeal can cause mental or emotional anguish to the indecisive and possibly separation anxiety when a failed mix of coffee and condiments must be poured down the drain. In short, coffee drinking is suffering. However, it is also joy. It stimulates the body and the mind. It acts as an anti-depressant and creates a bond of fellowship and community among consumers. A hot, steamy cup warms the heart on a frosty day; a cold, icy glass cools the soul when it’s hot. It wakes us up and keeps us alert. It gives us something to hold firmly in our hands and sip soothingly with our lips for peace and security in uncomfortable and stressful times.

Although I won’t step onto all the weak theological limbs that he does, I do think that coffee can assist in our worship and love of Christ. This is how coffee has blessed my life:

Coffee has become a very gracious gift of the Lord in my life to enjoy. Not only do I really enjoy the taste of this product of the earth, but it has been a great assistance in my study of the Word. I love the mornings. If I had the choice, I’d be in bed at 10:30 and up at 5:30, but college life doesn’t lend itself to that lifestyle. Thus, I am many times compelled to stay up late in order to fulfill my responsibility for my classes and at the same time, I have a higher responsibility before God to obey Him. If I want to get up early and commune with God through the study of the Word and prayer, then I need something to help me in the morning when the alarm goes off. The Lord gave me coffee and now, not only do I get to enjoy a great tasting beverage, but it also gives me the spark that I need to get my mind and heart working towards godliness. I am very thankful for the part that coffee has played in my spiritual growth in the morning, not to mention all of the times I have been confronted, encouraged, and discipled over a cup of Starbucks. I believe that coffee helps me to follow the example of many people in Scripture who rose early in the morning in order to seek the face of God (Abraham – Gen. 19:27; Moses – Ex. 24:4; Joshua – Joshua 8:10; Jesus – Mk. 1:35). I also believe that I can use coffee to glorify the Lord as Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:31.